1: Some say he was born yesterday, but he is older than his great grandfather
2: Some say his first name really is Adolf ,but his last name is Hitler
3: Some say Kryptonite in solid form flows through his veins instead of blood,but his best friend is Superman
4: Some say he looks like YOUR MOM , or does your mom look like him???
5: Some say he was born in Germany ,but his mother gave birth to him in Scotland
6: Some say he knows only three facts about the Nazis ,and they are all wrong
7: Some say Abraham lincon is his cousin ,but they are not related
8: Some say his favourite colour is PROPAGANDA ,but he is allergic to the number blue
9: Some say his car had only 3 quarters of each wheel ,and that he sunk Atlantis by throwing a Nokia on it
10: Some say he invented school ,and his middle name is silent
11:Some say his favourite cereal is rice crispies , but he is allergic to rice and hates crispies
12:Some say his son was shakespeare , but he disliked words longer than his name
13: Some say he created the internet , and he has a pet tomato to keep his cucumber company on Facebook
14:Some say he hates the number cow , but his favourite day is swastika
14.99 : Some say his heart was upside down due to propaganda ,and that his teeth glow in the sun
14.9999 : Some say his BFF was a goat named sheep
and that he prefers his tea spiced with cucumbers (no offence to his pet cucumber p.s if confused read no 13 again)
15.1 : Some say he naturally faces magnetic north ,and that he believes Star Wars is an Infomercial
15.16 : Some say he has a life sized tattoo of his face……on his face.
16 : Some say he can speak German in thirteen different languages
17 : Some say he was born in space ,and that he can not spell his name properly
17.5 : Some say he got his nazi and propaganda tactics from Dora the explorer ,and that he killed his mother before he was born
17.69 : Some say shoplifted on ebay ,and won a staring contest with his mirror
18.01 :Some say Hitler used android apps on a payphone
-Some say when he exercised the machine got stronger.
-Some say he built the hospital he was born in.
-Some say Hitler once got caught by the Nazis hacking a wallet using another wallet.
-Some say that Hitler's unicycle had 4 wheel drive with traction control.
-Some say hitler could inhale and exhale at the same time without breathing.
-Some say he was famous for hot-wiring bicycles.
-Some say could speak braile and sign language.
-Hitler once stabbed a person with a flat basketball.
-Some say Hitler could clap with no hands ,and he could download hardware through the internet.
-Some say Hitler once counted to the last digit of infinity and then he kept going.
-Some say he could bird two stones with one kill.
Some say that when he was once asked by a Nazi reporter how many push ups could he do, he replied "ALL OF THEM".
-Some say Hitler was the first person to drift a horse ,and that he wore the food chain around his neck.
-Some say Hitler solved the Bermuda triangle using the pythagoras theorem, and when the idiot who invented the telephone invented it he found two missed calls from Hitler.
-Some say Hitler made wood by rubbing two fires together ,and that he could press ctrl+alt+delete with one finger without even touching the keyboard.
-Some say he could crack a safe with a toothbrush.
-Some say Hitler could kill two stones with one bird
-Some Say he discovered the Cradle of MANKIND ,but he did not visit Africa after his accident with a pothole which caused his potato to be killed
-Some say he wore a Name Badge ,named "BADGE" with a font size of 37.76
-Some say he could draw lines of SYMMETRY on lines of SYMMETRY
-Some say he was known as "Translucent tissue paper " at high school for his skillzz at basketball and Hot potato
- some say his name means "one who is blessed with Potatoes" in German
- some say he won a Grammy in 1906 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Potato
- some say he is left-handed with his right hand- the only war dictator to be left-handed using his right
- some say he has read every Harry Potter book , but he does not know how to read
- some say he owned a set of pink boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
- some say he worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and ended up hating ice cream.
- some say his favourite snacks were chocolate-peanut protein flavoured jubejubes .
- some say he ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia .
- some say he could speak Spanish backwards whilst generating 10kw of power with his Mustache.
- some say while on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and watched CNN News instead .
- some say his favourite drink was black forest berry iced tea with a Hint of NAZI.
- some say he promised Eva he would quit smoking potatoes before running for dictatorship - he didn't.
-some say he named his pet mushroom "spoon" because he liked the colour of flavour 72.
- some say he kept a pet potato called Tatastic while in Indonesia which had 725bhp, more than a Toyota Yaris but less than his pet cucumber.
- some say he could bench-press an impressive -2lbs with his MUSTACHE.
- some say he was known as Steve until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name .
- some say his favourite book was A Different History by Hitler.
- some say he visited Workingham, Berks, in 1906 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiance, but left when a Jew arrived with French fries (this included traces of his pet potato)
- some say he made $4.2 million during his last year, with much coming from sales of Potatoes
- some say his favourite films were Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest .
- some say he carried a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck .
- some say his favourite music included Mr Nazi, Nazi Rock, Steve , The refugees and Nazi raps.
- some say he enjoyed playing Scrabble and Poke the communist and RUN.
- some say he didn't drink coffee or alcohol but drank alcohol flavoured coffee .
- some say he would have liked to have been an professional clown if he was not a Jew .
- some say as a teenager he took drugs including marshmallows and coconuts .
- some say his dogs' ambitions were to go to Yale before becoming an actress and learning to sing and dance.
- some say he hated the Hitler Youth trend for trousers which sagged beneath the backside.
- some say he never repaid his student loan .
- some say his house in Chicago had four fire places but he did not understand the concept of FIRE.
- some say he said his worst habit was constantly checking his BlackBerry for WhatsApp messages from his Girlfriends from all over the World (p.s they were all different kinds of Potato pies).
- some say he used an Apple Mac laptop called Windows .
- some say he drove a Ford F150, having ditched his gas-guzzling Honda CRZ Hybird.
- some say he wore 3 $1,500 Karl Marx suits at the same time .
- some say he owned fourteen identical pairs of black size 11 shoes .
- some say he has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charged himself .
- some say his favourite fictional television programmes were HITLER and The NAZIS .
- some say he was given the code name "Renegade" by his SS handlers .
- some say he was nicknamed "Ginger beer" by his late grandmother .
- some say he planned to install a basketball court in the White House grounds from the internet if he conquered the US .
- some say his favourite artist was the MIRROR.
- some say his specialty as a cook was potato.
- some say he had many friends in Indonesia who could Spell the the Number % "
- some say he kept on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the life of Pi.
- some say his late father was a senior economist for the Mbarian government.
-some say he had the fastest car on earth but he never owned a car.
-some say he fried a potato so much that it got a six pack.
-some say he invented the chair out of nothing but his SHOES but he did not know how to sit.
-some say he once pissed on a can , later it was called optimus prime.
-some say he threw a grenade, it killed 50 people , then exploded.
-some say his car had a V12 but it only had minus three cylinders .
-some say his favourite tv Show was REGULAR SHOW
-some say he invented RAP music when his Heart started Beating
-Some say his eyes got sore when he looked at the suns picture
-Some say he could build a snowman out of rain.
-Some say he can play the violin with a piano
-Some say he can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
-Some say he could run around the world so fast he could catch up and punch himself on the back of his own head.
-Some say he could divide a negative number by zero and get a positive answer
-Some say he could squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
-Some say he could delete the recycle bin
-Some say he got stabbed by a knife ,after two weeks of agonising pain the knife died
-Some say he could slam a revolving door
-Some say he could CAPITALISE punctuations and numbers
-Some say he could straighten a bald mans hair
-Some say he invented water
-Some say he could not fathom the idea of blinking
-Some say at a road block he tells the police to stop
-Some say he invented the TV but there were only radios in his time
-Some say he created a time machine to go back in time to watch himself create a time machine
-Some say if you did not hold him properly he wouldn't work
-Some say he has life size Hitler ornaments in his garden
-Some say he keeps a picture of his wallet in his wallet
-Some say he Shot at nothing, and he hit it EVERY TIME
-Some say his Mustache glowed when he ate a potato
-Some say he won American Idols using sign language with a Shona Accent
-Some say he could write with an ERASER
-Some say his Favourite Colour is a question mark
-Some say he could use up unlimited data
-Some say he can earth walk on the moon ,SIDEWAYS
-Some say he could only dry his mustache under water
-Some say he cant get a heart attack because his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him
-Some say someone found Hitlers diary and now its called World Guinness book of world records
-Some say he was once pulled over by a policeman ,Hitler let him go with a warning
-Some say Hitlers homework ate his Dog
-Some say he can remember the Future
-Some say he could light people on WATER
-Some say Hitler has muscles in places were we don't even have places
-Some say when Hitler got bored he would tell himself a joke that he has never heard before
-Some say he took a lie detector test once ,the machine confessed everything
-Some say when he was hungry his stomach would not growl but produce highly sophisticated animal calls that would lure his food
-Some say his dog had a restaurant in which chinese people were cooked
-Some say he robbed all the banks in GERMANY through his landline phone
-Some say Dragons breathe fire, Hitler Breathes Dragons
-Some say Hitler once fell in a shark tank, he ate 4 before they could pull him out
-Some say he killed people by Stabbing their Shadows
-Some say his favourite Instrument was Mayonnaise
-Some say he could parallel park a train
-Some say he could trip a snake
-Some people can burp the alphabet,, Hitler could fart the Dictionary
-Some say he could "lip read" Puppets
-Some say he did not believe in RETREATING, but Attacking in the opposite direction
-Some say Hitler Knows everything ,Except for one thing and he knows what that thing is
-Some say Hitler taught himself how to read,by writing a book on how to read,then reading it
-Some say his typewriter had spellcheck
-Some say he could suffocate a pillow with a man
-Some say he shot a man with his bare hands
-Some say Hitler could lap people in a DRAG race
-some say he once went to prison(again)because he beat a hologram to death .....with his eyes
-some say he could whistle in 5 different languages
-some say he could bake a cake in a refrigerator
-some say Hitler was not racist , he just hated every other race
-some say he used glow-in-the-dark material to make things darker at night,
and that he would highlight his speeches with a black marker
-some say Hitler poured the milk first ,then he adds cereal.....then he places the bowl
-some say his motto was "who needs friends when you can kill everyone"
-some say he can make things dirtier by sterilizing them
-some say when he did public speaking the judges did not give him a score , he gave the audience a score
-some say when he flies over the Bermuda Triangle the Bermuda Triangle goes missing
-some say when people tried to Photoshop Hitler's face their own face would change
-some say if he wanted he could make time fly , but he was afraid of heights
-some say he could balance a two legged stool using just five of it's legs
-some say he never ate bananas because he was allergic to the colour 742
-some say he shaved his hair using a plastic spoon
some say he was in a band that never existed
-some say he could fast-forward downloads , but he didn't even have to use the internet...
-some say his farts inspired the creation of nuclear bombs
-some say he made the Need For Speed movie using his toy cars
-some say he could slap a person both literally and metaphorically
-some say he did not walk up stairs he would slide up them
-some say when he whistled it would cause every potato within a ten mile radius to spontaneously detonate
-some say his xBox 360 only played iPod games
-some say he liked the corners of circles and the curves of squares
-some same he could watch black and white TV in full color
-some say his first painting as an artist was of a potato
-some say he learned to play the piano using a guitar
-some say he was a good soccer player but he never knew how to kick a ball
-some say his sneezes were the cause of hurricanes
-some say all he knew how to do was nothing but then he refused to do that
-some say he doesn't speak to people because he believes it is contagious
-some say he built a toilet out of nothing but another toilet which he did not know how to use
-some say he read Apple terms and conditions and then sued Apple for using the wrong conditions and won the case
-some say when he was born all the printers in a 50 mile radius printed his face in full colour , and the colours were only black and white
-some say when he first came to Germany he had nothing in his pockets except another pocket in case the first one ripped
-some say he owns the internet so that he cans eat your browsers cookies
-some say he he is so deadly in Call Of Duty that if he shoots you in the game you die in real life
-some say he travelled through time until he found out that he couldn't really travel through time but he decided to do it anyway
-some say he used to buy all the new phones just to use them to order their previous models online
-some say he he didn't use Google maps or Apple maps but would use the world map (globe was fitted in his car) to find directions to nearby locations
-some say he would not use GST (Global Standard Time) but he would use NPT (Nazi Premium Time) which was just GST but better as it would enable Hitler to be accurately late
-some say he was born on several days with intervals inbetween where he wasn't being born : the days were Monday then Wednesday then Sunday, he decided to skip Friday because it was too much pressure on his mother
-some say when his heart beats it sends out electromagnetic pulses in the area that is why he was unable to run because the road wouldn't work
-some say during his adolescent period his age kept fluctuating yearly by plus 1
-some say he couldn't use a stapler because he believed that the staples were holy as they represented a staple like shape
-some say that his followers rebelled against him, he simply didn't notice it and then when they killed him he thought they MIGHT be betraying him , so he stopped them
-some say he did not exist until he found out and then built himself
-some say could only only pronounce the silent letters in a name, and if there were none he would put them and then pronounce them
-some say he did not use a torch in the dark but just blind folded himself so that he couldn't see the darkness
-some say he that he would exaggerate with such intensity that the things would become real
-some say he could overtake the last person in a 100 meter race
-some say his favourite song is propaganda style by MR Nazi(one of his favourite bands)
-Some say when he looked in the mirror he saw nothing because the world cannot handle two of him at one moment of time
-Some say he could never repeat a word twice that is why he couldn't talk after he was 23 because he had used up his word count,after that he would just make designated sounds that would translate into words by his google translate app.
-some say hitler renamed all the months in 1968 to all the months in 1967 in the same order and it has stayed like that forever
-Some say his dad went to the store and never came back three times
-Some say he once spat his gumball in the air with such force that now we call it the moon
-some say when he discovered new facts about himself he would add them to his online autobiography in random places
Some say he could not tie his shoe laces, not that he couldn't it's because even he would not want to bow down to himself
-some say he wrote his autobiography before he was born and wrote all his facts after he died
-Some say that Hitler did not sleep he simply waited because sleep was not foolish or powerful enough to overcome him.
-Some say that he would love to play a game of connect 4 with Stalin but he would always win in just 3 moves.
-Some say that he had windows 10 on his blackboard making his battle plans that much easier to create and explain.
-Some say he only liked eating the core of the apple and would leave the outside intact
-Some say humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes but Hitler had 69 and each of them were poisonous.
-Some say that once Hitler ate the whole cake on his birthday before his friends could tell him that there was a surprise stripper inside the cake.
-Some say while urinating he was easily capable of welding titanium
-Some say the left testicle is larger than the right but for Hitler his doctor found out that each testicle was larger than the other.
-Some say due to the 1880 fiasco he ended up pulling the two ends of his diamonds which turned them back to coal
-Some say he did not believe in owning a microwave as he believed revenge is a dish best served with gassing chambers.
-Some say he could not love anyone as it was physically impossible for him he simply would not kill that person to show his affection which was a great move as he ended up sleeping with 369 women on a slow tuesday.
All we know he is
ADOLF HITLER
ADOLF HITLER